This is my last bit on channelsurfing for awhile.  But it must be said that, for people with A.D.D. – and by that, I mean specifically for myself – channelsurfing is just how I operate.  I’ve been wired that way forever.  And it’s important to understand that about me, as much of the writing in this blog may be influenced by this wonderful habit.

So let me give you a glimpse into the life of a viewer with A.D.D. and see if you identify.

I’m at Target or some place, trying to pass the time as one does, and I come across a movie I’ve heard about but never seen before.  AND it’s for 5 bucks.  Sold, right?

Of course, the trick then is to get out of there before I buy twelve other $5 DVDs… still learning that one…

Then I get home… but see, I never planned on watching it when I got home.  I’ll watch it some other day, when the mood strikes… but today I only bought it, you know, just in case…

…and almost immediately, that movie has lost its’ joy of purchase, and has transitioned into its’ homework phase.  People with TiVo guilt know what I mean.   And when I’m confronted with homework, well… a lot of us react the same way… we procrastinate…

…and we channelsurf.

I’ll find something I’ve seen a bunch of times before… something I didn’t wake up planning to watch but somehow fits perfectly with where my brain and soul are at right now.

I’ve already watched it a few times that week, and I never  catch it at the beginning, but somehow at that same exact scene in the middle that I always seem to catch it on…

…and I’ll click on that scene in the middle. Instead of watching something brand new that I’ve never seen before in an attempt to seed my mind with a potentially engaging new story to add to my cinematic canon…

…I’ll choose to channelsurf.

I’ll click on that in-the-middle scene like it’s my favorite ‘ugly-T-shirt-that-I-only-wear-at-home-but-is-the-most-relaxing-thing-to-wear-that-I-own-and-who-cares-if-it’s-sleeveless.’  It might not be the most stylish choice, or the most popular, but it’s the one I was meant to watch at that specific moment in time.

You’re soothed and comforted because at that moment – at THAT specific time and place in history – the channelsurfing gods aligned with the Hollywood stars in space above to bring you the exact movie that you didn’t know you needed to watch two minutes earlier, but now that it’s on – right here, right now – there’s no other place I’d rather be.

And it doesn’t matter in the slightest that I probably already own that movie in my collection, and could just pop it in at any time.  It doesn’t matter that you can just TiVo it for later or get it on Netflix. Totally not the point.

It’s the channelsurfing, dude.  That’s the key.  It’s not about what’s right – it’s about what’s right now.

But with ADD, it’s not entirely about the comfort (but I cannot lie, when I catch a PATRIOT GAMES/CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER back to back, or if BLACK RAIN pops on, there ain’t nothin’ more comforting).

It’s about the repetition.  Absorbing is appreciation.  It’s Filmmaking 101.

I’ll come across movies that are completely new to me that have yet to attain the rank of ‘awesome.’  I’ve heard it’s really good – people seem to like it a lot – but I haven’t learned why that brand new movie works or doesn’t work.  I only learn by doing… through the ‘over-and-over.’

My first impressions are never the best, and I’ll rarely appreciate a movie fully on its’ first viewing.  I’ll love it on its’ fifth.

That’s when I’ll get it.  That’s when I’ll learn it.

Good or bad, indecisive or indifferent, most movies are worth a second look, if only to confirm what I thought the first go around.  Perhaps I’ll change my mind will change, or perhaps I’ll see something different that next go-round.

I never understood 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY – until the sixth or seventh time.  And then I understood Kubrick forever.

CHINATOWN’s appeal was too dense and confusing… until my brain caught up with it and I got it.  And let the gospel choir sing ‘Hallelujah,’ because it is brilliant.

DEAD AGAIN was a movie where, upon leaving the theater, I promptly went back in and saw it a second time.  I’ve seen it fifty or more times since then, and I’m always spotting something new…  a new directorial flourish, a new piece of art direction, a nice little touch by an actor, and it keeps enriching the pulpy story for me even further.

I’ve seen RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II more than the above three movies combined.  And an explosive tipped arrow is still an explosive tipped arrow.  I see it with different eyes now than I did as a kid… but it’s a lovely paradox how a movie can get worse and worse and better and better at the same time.

I’ve been obsessed by CASINO.  BASIC INSTINCT.  JURASSIC PARK.  THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR.  SHOOT ‘EM UP.  TOP SECRET!  RONIN.  And that’s just in the last month.

There are hundreds of movies out there that I’ve only seen once or so.  Might be hard pressed to remember it.  I know I’ve seen THE MAN WHO ISN’T THERE.  But damned if I can remember it enough to write more than three sentences about it (to my everlasting shame).

Now ask me about BASIC INSTINCT.

I watch movies like people listen to music, so it’s been on in the background about five times for me in the last month.

I’ll tell you about the great fluid master shots Verhoeven uses.  I’ll tell you about his blocking of the actors, and lament how so few directors can stage a scene anymore.

How the crisp and vibrant the cinematography is.  How Jerry’ Goldsmith’s score is like a silky and seductive snake that strikes when you least expect it.

How all the plot’s square pegs actually fit into the round holes now, and makes total sense to me (despite how contrived and convoluted it is).

How I miss the days when Michael Douglas was the freakin’ man. How tough guys can go to a club and not have to dance at all, because the woman will do all the grinding up against him (see: Steven Seagal in MARKED FOR DEATH). How George Dzundza has some of the shittiest dialogue in history.

I even figured out Catherine Tramell… once a sexual partner of hers wants to procreate, she kills them.  That’s why she sleeps with women, and only kills men when the notion of having children comes into play.  Michael Douglas was going to get the ice pick until he told her raising rugrats wasn’t important.  He’d be swiss cheese if he hadn’t.

I understood NONE of this when I saw it at Rutgers Plaza in New Jersey when I was seventeen.   I understood ALL of it when the channelsurfing gods chose to present it in my path and present it often.

So the perfect channelsurfing cocktail?

It’s one-part comfort, one-part repetition, one-part ‘out of my hands.’

And the best part of the aftertaste?  It’s different each and every time.

Enjoy your remote.  It will thank you.

5 Responses to “THE PERFECT CHANNELSURFING COCKTAIL”