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THE CHOPPER’S VAULT

So… why did ‘the Chopper’ decided to show you this NSFW clip today?

Because it’s a zombie fighting a shark.

‘Nuff said.

We all need to imagine – and appreciate – the utter bug-fuck mental freakout that topless Italian diver chick must’ve had. You throw on the scuba tank… go for a swim… enjoying nature topless (as you do)… then a shark comes… and then… as you hide… there’s a zombie in your face coming for a quick bite.

Yeah. I’d piss my pants, too.

Lucky for her, the zombie thinks she’s too high maintenance of a meal, so he goes for a shark steak.

Think about that. Basically, Fulci’s saying that a shark is easier to deal with than an Italian woman. Cracks my funny bone in two.

Of course, it’s more likely he wasn’t saying anything except “f–k it, let’s have a zombie fight a shark.” Either way, it tickles me immensely because it proves that Italians are f–king nuts.

I’ve had a fear of drowning forever.  Not being able to breathe scares me.  And going out into the open water freaks me out (you know, JAWS and stuff). But NOW I have to worry about drowning while being eaten by a shark AND attacked by a zombie. 

Thanks a lot, Fulci.

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