I’m not a dog lover. By that, I mean I haven’t been bitten by ‘the dog bug’ just yet. Actually, dogs are fine. It’s the dog owners that can get to me. And no, not ALL dog owners. You know the kind I’m talking about. They’re like those parents who allow their kids to wreak havoc on a clothing store and sort of not do anything about it.
Example: a mother will be trying to shop for her fashionable athletic jumpsuit in Studio City, and her two little tornadoes Molly and Hatchet rip through the store like Inspector Clousseau and Kato.
Calmly, she’ll say “now sweetums, this is mommy’s time. Please stop going underneath the woman’s dress.” But Molly and Hatchet know nothing will happen, so they keep going under the woman’s dress and giving her a wedgie. And then the parent will say “sweetums, that’s very creative, but this is mommy’s time. If you behave, I’ll treat you to that fried chicken ice cream you like, but right now, it’s mommy’s time.”
And then the kids piss on the mannequin and cane a blind diabetic amputee. And the mother and goes “okay, we’ll go get you that fried chicken ice cream, but after that, it’s going to be mommy’s time, okay?” And then the two little tornadoes get exactly what they want and leave a trail of debris behind.
I hate parents like that. Some dog owners are like that, too. So it’s not the dogs I don’t like – it’s the dog owners that allow their dogs to piss on mannequins….
…or something like that… I may have wandered a bit here…
…but I WILL say… if I found a pet that I could fall in love with… I’d consider that leap. And in the video below, you sort of see what it would be like if you could have an All Terrain Attack Transport – or AT-AT – as a housepet. They stole the show in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, and deservedly so.
If I could have an AT-AT as a pet for real… I would name it ‘Streetfighter,’ and we would be bestest friends, and I would let him go get help when I’m trapped in a well, and I would definitely bring ‘Streetfighter’ into inappropriate places like Coffee Bean or a supermarket.
‘Cause let’s be honest… AT-AT’s are just just f***ing cool.
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> HANDSOME BABY
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> BRUCE LEE VS. IRON MAN
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> STREETFIGHTER LEGACY
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> MacGyver Meets Lebowski
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> Nobody Puts Iron Man in a Corner
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> Barbershop Ewok Song
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> ZOMBIE VS. SHARK
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> LEAN ON ME SPEECH
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> THE FIGHT FROM THEY LIVE
You know I own a print of the kid riding the AT-AT.
Really? I did not knowest that….