Somewhere out there… the creator of this fan-made trailer for THE EXPENDABLES is getting offers from trailer houses to get him to work for them.

I would have said ‘him or her,’ but judging by the final product, there’s no way this person’s a girl.  Either that, or she’s the smartest woman that ever lived.  Including Catherine Tramell and Velma from SCOOBY-DOO.

Watch it and share it with others before it gets removed (which would be a silly thing to do over copyright issues, as this is easily the best trailer for this movie and its’ intended audience so far).

This makes me long for the days of the battery-powered ENTERTECH guns that looked like the real machine guns but weren’t. They were so real that one time I couldn’t take the toy with me on an airplane, and had to put it in baggage. When my mother and I went up to the ticket counter and said to the sales agent ‘Hi, we have a little problem’ and showed her our realistic semi-automatic, she screamed and dove to the ground.

But if I had that ENTERTECH gun now – including the Rocket Launcher – I’d bring that to the screening. And I’d bring a huge steak dinner. With whiskey in a flask. And two hookers from Thailand that would just say ‘me so horny’ whenever I cued them.

Oh. And a tank. I’d bring a tank.

Just go watch this movie when it comes out, will you? Your balls will thank you.