The world is divided into two groups. Those who feel that FLASH GORDON (1980) is a brilliantly campy throwback to B-movies (however unintentionally)…. and those who really have no ability to channel awesomeness into their lives.
Maybe you had to grow up watching this. Maybe when you were younger and littler… you’d watch this film… and you wouldn’t even notice how silly this movie was. It would make sense that a quarterback would travel to another planet to save the Earth. It would make sense that our hero would fall in love with Dale Arden a mere 24 hours after meeting her… and that Dale would actually become supremely possessive of Flash in said timeline. Not stalker-ish at all… but hey… people become close in extreme circumstances.
It would make sense that Queen would come up with one of the most badass, tongue-in-cheek theme songs for a hero that’s still remembered today:
This is a very iconic movie for a certain group of film fans. We GET this. We love it like we love our parents and girlfriends and boyfriends and pet hamsters – we love it for its’ flaws and all. i mean, Flash Gordon introduces himself to the ruler of an alien planet as “Flash Gordon. Quarterback. New York Jets.”
Also wacky and endearing: one of the big action set-pieces involving an interplanetary takeover (which would be the cause of Earth’s destruction for no other reason than Ming the Merciless’ enjoyment) was THIS one:
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I mean….. COME ON!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT???
He has a SHIRT that has his NAME on it! Dale Arden is literally doing a CHEERLEADING routine for the love of her life that she met 24 hours ago. And he literally cries out ‘Forty-one! Forty-two!’ Klytus even calls a huddle! And then Hans Zarkov messes it up with the worst pass ever – seriously, this dude is an anchor….
Also… this actress who played Aura, Ming’s daughter? Super freaking hot. She even had a pet little person she pulled around on a leash named Fellini. Think Dino DeLaurentiis had something to do with that?
Flash should be like – Dale Arden who? But no, Flash is one hundred percent devoted to the woman he met YESTERDAY. I’m just saying… dude’s a quarterback… he’s used to slutty princesses from other planets trying to rape him…. he’s got no history with over-posessive journalists… you do the math.
Or to put it another way… what would LL Cool J do?
But here is the true test…. this will determine if you’re a serious FLASH GORDON fan… or if you’re a super-poser. Watch the next clip and see if we agree:
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If you found this scene super-creepy and ultra-scary… and if you found that slimy, pulsating, wood-beast thing that lives only to kill you and you’re forced to put your hand down there to find it become a cool member of the Arborian Tree People…. and if you found it all scary as shit…. then we can be friends.
