Archive for the ‘WHY THE HELL NOT?’ Category
Jon Favreau tweeted this clip. CHUD posted it. I give them all the credit in finding it so I could steal their glory and give it to you.
Enjoy.
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> Barbershop Ewok Song
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> ZOMBIE VS. SHARK
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> LEAN ON ME SPEECH
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> THE FIGHT FROM THEY LIVE
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> WOMAN INTO ROBOT (SUPERMAN 3)
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> WONDERWHEEL! (THE TOY)
There’s just no real reason to post this.
Although earlier today, when I was using the restroom at work, my Ipod shuffled to the Ewok celebration song, and the volume was so high that my coworker could hear, and he looked at me weirdly and said “are you pissing to the Ewok song?”
But then again, there’s just no real reason to post this.
Thanks to Aint It Cool News for luring me in with their article on the upcoming Blu-Ray releases on all six Star Wars films.
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> ZOMBIE VS. SHARK
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> LEAN ON ME SPEECH
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> THE FIGHT FROM THEY LIVE
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> WOMAN INTO ROBOT (SUPERMAN 3)
WHY THE HELL NOT? –> WONDERWHEEL! (THE TOY)
So… why did ‘the Chopper’ decided to show you this NSFW clip today?
Because it’s a zombie fighting a shark.
‘Nuff said.
We all need to imagine – and appreciate – the utter bug-fuck mental freakout that topless Italian diver chick must’ve had. You throw on the scuba tank… go for a swim… enjoying nature topless (as you do)… then a shark comes… and then… as you hide… there’s a zombie in your face coming for a quick bite.
Yeah. I’d piss my pants, too.
Lucky for her, the zombie thinks she’s too high maintenance of a meal, so he goes for a shark steak.
Think about that. Basically, Fulci’s saying that a shark is easier to deal with than an Italian woman. Cracks my funny bone in two.
Of course, it’s more likely he wasn’t saying anything except “f–k it, let’s have a zombie fight a shark.” Either way, it tickles me immensely because it proves that Italians are f–king nuts.
I’ve had a fear of drowning forever. Not being able to breathe scares me. And going out into the open water freaks me out (you know, JAWS and stuff). But NOW I have to worry about drowning while being eaten by a shark AND attacked by a zombie.
Thanks a lot, Fulci.
A little something to inspire you through the rest of the week… in other words, here’s Morgan Freeman shouting a lot. Enjoy!
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I have spent most of the past week in raging neck pain.
I know you can throw out your back, or you can pull a hammy, twist a knee or ankle… but where the neck was concerned, all I thought you could do was break it or, well… break it. Sure, I’ve had stiff necks before… but throwing out my was a completely new inconvenience for me.
It didn’t even happen immediately. No big moment where I made an uncoordinated jerky move (”back, and to the left… back… and to the left…”) and that move caused me to go “aaaaah, I just threw out my neck and it’s completely obvious because it really %&$*# hurts!”
Nope, this crept up on me during work hours, and by the next day, I was largely incapacitated. Couldn’t tilt my head back at all, or even rotate it left or right. Hell, swallowing food even hurt. If I laid down in bed, there were no comfortable positions, and if I got out of bed, I would have to support my head with my hands otherwise it would create a big ‘owwie.’
There was no relief for days… a friend finally came threw for me and helped me get to the doctor… but even then, the pain would just go on and on… and on…. and then when I thought it was almost over, it was back on again,,,, and then it would end…. but NOPE! Back on again, and I’m like ‘Holy hell, this raging pain is gonna be never ending.”
Which is why the film-geek part of my brain immediately compared my situation with the epic ‘Jesus-this-is-long’ fight scene from John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE.
Rumor has it that, at the time, it was one of the longest fight scenes in modern film. Can’t say if it’s a bogus rumor or not (it probably is if you factor in martial arts films) but this is the conversation I had with myself in my head as I watched this scene for the first time:
Goddamn, that’s a good mullet… I didn’t know you could tuck in a flannel shirt, I’ll have to try that…. and check out Keith David being a badass… dude tossed the cash into the bag so casual, it was like ‘ain’t nuthin’ but a thang.” Smooth move, badass…
…okay, here we go, they’re fighting, shit’s about to get real… wow, good stuff…. fight’s winding down, good fight scene… oh shit! They’re back at it! This shit looks like it hurts… no mortal man can keep this up, but it IS Keith David we’re talking about here, so…
…oh, okay… NOW the fight’s over, good job guys, that was some great stuff, now let’s get on with the story and – SHIT, THEY’RE BACK AT IT AGAIN? Are they really pulling out wrestling moves? Shit, I’m exhausted just WATCHING this!!!
Evidentally, I use the word ’shit’ a lot when talking in my head… but still, it was then and still is kick-ass.
To set up the clip: ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper (one of the original wrestling superstars of the 1980’s) has these chemically treated Ray-bans that let you see the secret subliminal messages that aliens have hidden everywhere to better control our society.
It was meant as a comment on a consumer society during the Reagan era… and yeah, I can see how it’s a bit silly, and yeah, the aliens look like rotting cadavers with golf ball eyes and British teeth… but who friggin’ cares?
The important thing is that Roddy will beat the shit out of Keith David in order to get him to try them on, and Keith David will beat the shit out of Roddy to teach this crazy dude a lesson so he will leave him alone. In essence, this is the perfect example of dramatic conflict that they try to teach you in film school.
Although I’m all healed now, and can improperly crack my neck again with ease… I submit to you, in honor of my never-ending pain… the (almost) never-ending fight scene from John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE.
(…told ya Keith was a badass… I friggin’ told ya…)