A new trailer came out for ANONYMOUS, which is Roland Emmerich directing a conspiracy film that asks: “What if Shakespeare never wrote a single word? What if it was a sham?”

Yup.  Roland Emmerich.

Ok, laugh. Go ahead. I remember 2012 just as much as you. And yes, I love THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, and just watched STARGATE and INDEPENDENCE DAY in the last month or two. And I’ve completely erased 10,000 B.C. from my personal frame of reference. (Has anyone ever thought that Roland Emmerich looks just like Fred Armisen from SNL? Jes’ sayin’…..)

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Alright, get your snickers out of the way.  Yes, I like MACGRUBER.  A lot.

Still snickering?  I get it.  It’s an SNL movie of a paper-thin character that pokes fun at the legendary MACGYVER.  And yes, when I first heard of a MACGRUBER movie, I thought “Lorne Michaels, I spit on thee.”  I’ve got a few dream projects in my head, and one of them is bringing a MACGYVER feature film to the big screen and really do it right.  So MACGRUBER felt like a big c**kblock.

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I f**king loved BATTLE: LOS ANGELES.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  This movie ain’t perfect.  But I still love it, in and out and all around.

I couldn’t tell you exactly why it thrilled me like it did.  I can certainly tell you that when I went with my friends to see BATTLE: LOS ANGELES in the Cinerama Dome at Arclight Cinemas Hollywood this past Sunday, I was certainly the only one who came out seriously revved up about it.  In fact, they were all of the opinion that it was in a range of “average” to “worst goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.”  I’m still a bit baffled by their reactions, even if they were valid, so let me try to explain.

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Let the stunt casting begin. Why should geek properties like X-MEN and BATMAN be the only ones to enjoy this game? Let’s allow a hedonistic, wish-fullfillment-show-masquerading-as-a-family-sitcom into the fold and start playing…

I have my thoughts on Mr. Carlos Estevez (which I wrote about in this little piece right here). But lately these days EVERYONE is having thoughts on Charlie Sheen – good, bad, ugly, AND winning.  And now that his job’s up for grabs, people are already speculating…

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Been awhile since I contributed a bit from the WHY THE HELL NOT junk drawer.  Thought I’d choose to highlight a clip from a film that’s been lurking in the back of my mind every day for the last few weeks:  Craig Brewer’s BLACK SNAKE MOAN.

Simply put, it’s about a Southern girl darkened by waves of nymphomaniac urges so strong she cannot quiet them unless she gets it from someone – anyone.  Her path crosses with a lonely old bluesman whose wife just left him for his brother.  He takes her in, and realizes she’s ’sick’ in that possessed Jezebel type of way.  He decides to help cure her of her ’sickness’ by chaining her to his radiator.  And that’s where this fable gets really interesting.

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